well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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