I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
