i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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