Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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