you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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