um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think people are normalizing furries
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
