Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
