Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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