YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
