shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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