My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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