why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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