honey bunches of taint.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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