I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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