Say something about gay babies.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
