No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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