blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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