you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
