ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Soap is not a condiment
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He keeps bees of course he's weird
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
