Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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