and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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