is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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