She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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