Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
