they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
