apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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