If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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