Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's JV to your varsity
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
