Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
