never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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