you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
