You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
