I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
