in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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