how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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