There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
