How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
