I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
