i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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