You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
