Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The power of my boobs compel you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
