You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
