and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
