I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
