a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
