why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
