Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
