I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
