He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
