Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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