She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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