So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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