so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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