That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I love you. Go after that dick
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
