We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
