You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
