dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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