Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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