you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
