Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
