Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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